An Uncomplicated Life: A Father's Memoir of His Exceptional Daughter, by Paul Daugherty
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An Uncomplicated Life: A Father's Memoir of His Exceptional Daughter, by Paul Daugherty
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A father’s exhilarating and funny love letter to his daughter with Down syndrome whose vibrant and infectious approach to life has something to teach all of us about how we can better live our own.
Jillian Daugherty was born with Down syndrome. The day they brought her home from the hospital, her parents, Paul and Kerry, were flooded with worry and uncertainty, but also overwhelming love, which they channeled to “the job of building the better Jillian.” While their daughter had special needs, they refused to allow her to grow up needy—“Expect, Don’t Accept” became their mantra. Little did they know how ready Jillian was to meet their challenge.
Paul tells stories from Jillian’s mischievous childhood and moves to her early adulthood, tracing her journey to find happiness and purpose in her adult life, sharing endearing anecdotes as well as stories about her inspiring triumphs. Having graduated from high school and college, Jillian now works to support herself, and has met the love of her life and her husband-to-be, Ryan.
In An Uncomplicated Life, the parent learns as much about life from the child as the child does from the parent. Through her unmitigated love for others, her sparkling charisma, and her boundless capacity for joy, Jillian has inspired those around her to live better and more fully. The day Jillian was born, Paul says, was the last bad day. As he lovingly writes, “Jillian is a soul map of our best intentions”—a model of grace, boundless joy, and love for all of us.
An Uncomplicated Life: A Father's Memoir of His Exceptional Daughter, by Paul Daugherty- Amazon Sales Rank: #108599 in eBooks
- Published on: 2015-03-17
- Released on: 2015-03-17
- Format: Kindle eBook
Review “Raw, real, touching and poignant--everything a memoir should be.” (Huffington Post)“An expressive, nostalgic series of memories of living life with a special needs child.” (Kirkus)“Affecting. ... This feel-good memoir will appeal to all parents of children with special needs.” (Booklist)
From the Back Cover
A father's exhilarating and inspiring love letter to his daughter with Down syndrome, whose vibrant and infectious approach can teach us all how to live a little better
"Jillian was born October 17, 1989. It was the last bad day."
Jillian Daugherty was born with Down syndrome. The day her parents, Paul and Kerry, brought her home from the hospital, they were flooded with worry and uncertainty, but also with overwhelming love, which they channeled to "the job of building the better Jillian." They knew their daughter had special needs, but they refused to have her grow up needy. They were resolved that Jillian's potential would not be limited by preconceptions of who she was or what she could be.
In this charming and often heart-stirring book, Paul tells stories about Jillian making her way through the world of her backyard and neighborhood, going to school in a "normal" classroom, learning to play soccer and ride a bike. As she grows older, he traces her journey to find happiness and purpose in her adult life, including vignettes about her inspiring triumphs and the guardian angels—teachers, neighbors, friends—who believed in Jillian and helped her become the exceptional young woman she is today.
In An Uncomplicated Life, the parent learns as much about life from the child as the child does from the parent. Being with Jillian, Paul discovered the importance of every moment and the power of the human spirit—how we are each put here to benefit the other. Through her unmitigated love for others, her sparkling charisma, and her boundless capacity for joy, Jillian has inspired those around her to live better and more fully. As Paul writes, "Jillian is a soul map of our best intentions," a model of grace, happiness, and infectious enthusiasm. She embraces all that she is, all that she has—"I love my life. I just love my life," she says.
In her uncomplicated life, we see the possibility, the hope, and the beauty of our own.
About the Author
Paul Daugherty has been a sports columnist for the Cincinnati Enquirer since 1994. He has covered nearly every major American sporting event, as well as five Summer Olympic Games. He is the author of Fair Game, a collection of his sports columns, and coauthor of books with Chad Johnson and Johnny Bench. He blogs daily at The Morning Line on Cincinnati.com. He lives in Loveland, Ohio, with his wife, Kerry.
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Most helpful customer reviews
15 of 15 people found the following review helpful. Don't look at Jillian, see her. By Paul Mastin Sportswriter Paul Daugherty had a few choice words for God when he learned that his daughter Jillian had Down syndrome. But he writes that the day of her birth "was the last bad day." In An Uncomplicated Life: A Father's Memoir of His Exceptional Daughter, Daugherty writes about Jillian and his family's life together, living with a disability.Daugherty's story is raw and personal, revealing the struggles that his family went through in Jillian's education and upbringing. Yet above all he conveys a sense of hope and joy as Jillian's personality and cheerful attitude shine through. Paul and his wife determined from the start that they wanted more for Jillian than the expectations of medical and educational professionals. For too long, parents "had been told their kids with special needs could not achieve." The Daughertys threw out that advice, educated themselves about laws regarding the education of special needs children, and fought for Jillian to be educated in a mainstream classroom.I loved these chapters, as my family has been through the same trials: witnessing the horror of the self-contained classroom, convincing teachers that modification doesn't just mean crossing out a few questions, bringing legal pressure to bear on the district to simply follow the law. Daugherty writes, "No parents of typical kids have to fight their school district for the right to have their children in a typical classroom."Why is inclusion such an important issue to parents of children with special needs? First of all, it's the law. But more importantly, "If you want kids with disabilities to achieve beyond the norm, why would you put them in a segregated classroom, only with other kids with disabilities?" Children should not be excluded from the overall educational experiences shared by their typical peers. And as inclusion advocate (and Jillian's future mother-in-law) says, "There aren't special lines at the grocery store" for people with special needs.The Daugherty's love for Jillian is overflowing in the pages of An Uncomplicated Life. I'm sure they would say they simply love their daughter. But Jillian is the kind of person whose love spreads around her wherever she goes. As Daugherty's mother said, "Jillian is the best Christian I know. . . . She's kind. She loves genuinely. She gives. She enjoys life. . . . She acts like the rest of the world should act but doesn't. . . . Those who know her are moved to do better, to be better. To do good." Daugherty himself writes, "Jillian is closer to perfect than anyone I've known."An Uncomplicated Life follows Jillian's life from birth, through childhood, to college, and eventually to engagement to her "best boy." Her story is a testament to the power of a family who chose to look not at what she couldn't do, but what she could do, who asks that we not merely look at Jillian, but see her. Jillian's example will inspire many parents of children with special needs not to settle for less than what standards the world might hold but to "expect, not accept." My daughter is 13, and has travelled some of the road Jillian has. Jillian's story encourages me to continue to raise her like Jillian, who is aware of the "shackles" of her disability but didn't let them hold her back. Thank you, Paul Daugherty, for sharing your beautiful daughter with us.Thanks to Edelweiss and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy!
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful. "Expect, don't accept"... exceptional and moving on so many levels By Paul Allaer "An Uncomplicated Life: A Father's Memoir of His Exceptional Daughter" (2015 publication; 384 pages) is the long-awaited memoir from Cincinnati Enquirer sport columnist Paul Daugherty regarding "Jillian the Magnificent", a/k/a Jullian, his now 25 yr. old daughter, who has build an "uncomplicated" life while dealing with Down syndrome.In the book's introduction, Paul Daugherty observes that "Three years after starting this project, this is what I will take from it. We're only as good as the way we treat each other", and that is THE recurring theme in this book. Be kind and nice to the people around you. Love them, and they will love you back. The first chapter of the book, in which Paul and his wife Kerry welcome Jillian into the world, and encounter shock when they find out she has Down syndrome, finishes with this sentence: "Jillian was born October 17, 1989. It was the last bad day", and this goes to another recurring theme in the book: be positive, even in difficult circumstances, and positive things will happen. You make of life what you want from it. Along the way, Paul introduces us to a number of people who proved to be instrumental in making Jillian become what she is now (other than immediate family of course). A sizable portion of the book is devoted to the Daughterys' struggle to have Jillian enrolled in school with the rest of the 'typical' students. Let's just say that Daugherty minces no words for the Loveland (in suburban Cincinnati) School District. "It's the law", the Daughertys keep telling the school. "Jillian's teachers did what was easiest, not what was right. Least resistance was the preferred path. They took advantage of our trust. They stunted Jillian's education. They did it for a few years. It felt like a punch in the gut", wow. But Daugherty is also honest about his own feelings. Despite the endless love for his daughter, he confesses that "Expanding Jillian's dreams means constricting our own. Our lives are less separable than the lives of typical parents and their grown children. Sometimes, I resend that." But in the end, the book is all about Jillian, and what an incredible influence she has been (and still is) on so many people's lives around her. When Paul writes about Jillian's first date, I'm sure I am not the only one welling up. Towards the end of the book, Paul observes that "Jillian's schedule is complex, but her life is not complicated. The junk that clutters our days--anger, anxiety, jealousy, finances, cynicism, guile, agenda--has no place in her world". What a fantastic book this is, surely one of the more touching and moving books I will read this year.Living in Cincinnati as I do, those of us that follow Paul's "The Morning Line" blog (a mix of sports and personal stuff) and other writings, have been reading about Jillian in bits and pieces over the years, but this book tells the full story. As Paul and his wife Kerry make clear time and again: "expect, don't accept". How true. Do yourself a favor and check out this book. You will not regret it. "An Uncomplicated Life" is HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful. The purest expression of a father's love By d lachel “An Uncomplicated Life: A Father’s Memoir of His Exceptional Daughter” is pure love expressed from deep inside a girl born with Down syndrome through her father, the book’s author. Jillian Daugherty’s spirit is cultivated by her remarkable parents, Paul and Kerry, from her very first breath. Her brother Kelly, extended family members and a handful of focused and dedicated teachers and friends add to Jillian’s successful worldview. The book is many things – a tragedy that rights itself, an uncomfortable truth-telling, a documentation of celebrated milestones always preceded by many steps backwards, a chronology of souls evolving, a love story, actually many love stories, a collection of inspirational moments sure to shift your thinking, a thoughtful perspective on the gifts of a 47th chromosome, and a book for which I grieved upon finishing the last page. I wanted more. I still want more. I hope Paul writes another book about Jillian and her soon-to-be husband Ryan as they make their way in the world – touching others’ hearts with very little ego involved.This book will remind you that when one’s spirit flows freely anything is possible! Jillian and Ryan are teachers for the rest of us who work hard at being conscious human beings. They don’t really have to work at it – it’s who they are. They live in the moment, seeing the best in others, loving their day-to-day enthusiastically. What’s not to love about that inherent medicine.I cherish good writing. When I find someone who expresses what’s underway inside his heart and mind in a way that throws coffee through my nose or has me grabbing for a tissue, he’s a keeper. Paul couples words and notions with a sliver of surprise. He shares his grief, anger, frustration and joy in the chapters of Jillian’s life in simple yet complex ways. His description of her first laugh at 2-months old as a “staccato rumble from somewhere deep”, to his metaphors like “she grabbed life the way a knife grabs a filet”, to his reverence for the 47th chromosome that determined Jillian had Down syndrome, “Number 47 isn’t a governor on her aspirations. It’s an extra storage tank for all her good stuff” - Paul Daugherty laid bare his soul and authenticated it with his writing prowess.I highly recommend this book.
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